


cover up, rain down

by thekaidonovskys



Series: Becoming Three [12]
Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: M/M, Multi, Scars, Tattoos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-29
Updated: 2014-07-29
Packaged: 2018-02-10 21:58:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2041713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thekaidonovskys/pseuds/thekaidonovskys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“When you’re upset, when you look at your arms and I can almost see you thinking that you deserved it and… and I hate it. Because you’re worth so much more, because you fought and won and you shouldn’t have to stare at the reminders of your battle. You’ll remember it forever anyway, but why let it linger?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	cover up, rain down

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SpesAbrin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpesAbrin/gifts).



> Originally posted by Tumblr user thekaidonovskys

Of all the things he’s expected to find when looking through Newt’s papers, this is definitely not one of them.

He’s not snooping, just to clarify. After London, it’s become natural for Tendo to keep things in order - it was anyway beforehand, but now it’s completely ordinary for Tendo to organise their research papers and notes for the textbooks they’re both writing, when before he would have just left it to them. It’s just lovely to have that little bit extra trust (not that he’s ever doubted their trust in him), and so Tendo always does his best. 

Today he’s tidying up all the surplus papers that Newt’s had lying around for  _years_ , clogging up the corner of his desk and coming precariously close to tipping over. So Tendo’s scanning each one briefly to see where it belongs, and when he finds the drawing he stops breathing. 

It’s  _Crimson Typhoon_. It’s a tattoo design. And it’s beautiful. 

And Tendo remembers. 

Newt had said it was just an idea back then, too, Tendo realizes a moment later. Which means at some point he sat down and sketched it out - and put hours into it - even though Tendo hadn’t exactly said yes. He’d designed it anyway, with no canvas, no model, nobody to ever wear it. 

Unless…

Slowly and slightly shakily, Tendo raises the piece of paper and presses it to his right forearm. It’s a perfect fit. 

It’s designed for him. 

Tendo turns on his heel and walks out to the living room. Newt and Hermann are in the middle of a debate, but thankfully not quite at the raging stage just yet. Newt glances up, pauses, then stops mid sentence. “Tendo? What’s up?”

Tendo doesn’t speak. He just holds the page up. 

"Oh god," Newt says after a moment of staring. "I’m sorry you found that."

Tendo frowns. “Why?”

"Because I don’t want you to think that I… I don’t know, that I drew it for you or that I want you to get it done or -"

Sighing, Tendo once again presses the paper to his forearm, the action silencing Newt and raising Hermann’s eyebrows. “I don’t think this is a coincidence. You drew it for me, didn’t you?”

"Okay, yes, but -"

"Good."

Newt’s the one frowning now. “Good?”

"Newt," Tendo says, smiling softly, "it’s phenomenal. The detail, the accuracy… you are so goddamn talented, and you drew it for  _me_. And I know what that means, I know how  _much_ that means.”

Newt’s blushing, and Hermann smiles at him before turning back to Tendo. “Fill me in?” he asks. 

Tendo sits down across from them. “When you design a tattoo, they’re designed in different ways,” he says. “There are ones where you just draw them and then anybody can get it done - those are usually the ones you see in the shops and on every second person on the street. And then there are the ones that are specifically designed for one person, for not only their skin but for  _them._ So Newt didn’t just draw this to fit on my arm, he drew it to fit me. It’s no coincidence that this is  _Crimson Typhoon_ either, is it? Out of all the Jaegers, of course it’s this one.”

Newt sighs, then nods. “They don’t have a tribute,” he says quietly. “All the others do - they’re carried with people in some way. But they don’t. And who better than you?”

Tendo understands completely - because the scrapped pieces of  _Gypsy Danger_ and  _Coyote Tango_ were melted down into Raleigh and Mako’s wedding rings, Herc Hansen has a small piece of  _Striker Eureka_ on a chain around his neck, and Hermann’s currently looking down at a thin metal bracelet made from the remains of the salvageable and unrusted parts of  _Cherno Alpha._   _Crimson Typhoon,_ however,had been unreachable; they’d gotten the bodies out, but it had sunk too far for them to retrieve the Jaeger itself. But if they had, Tendo would have been the one to wear the tribute.

And now he has a way. 

He stares down at the page, then looks back up at Newt. “And for the final ‘this is definitely not a coincidence’ moment,” he says, and rolls up his sleeve.

The three of them look down at his arm. Tendo knows they’re seeing what he’s seeing - what they’ve all seen hundreds of times but never really  _looked_ at - the long raised line, running vertically down the middle of his arm. The scar, identical to the one on his left arm, and the two things on his body that mock him the most. The reminders that he carries with himself for the rest of his life.

“I hate the way you look at them,” Newt says after a few moments of silence. “When you’re upset, when you look at your arms and I can almost see you thinking that you deserved it and… and I hate it. Because you’re worth so much more, because you fought and won and you shouldn’t have to stare at the reminders of your battle. You’ll remember it forever anyway, but why let it linger? You’ve moved on in every other way, you’re brave and strong and wonderful and really seriously loved, and I don’t know, you might want to keep them visible for some reason but if I can offer a way to take them away, then… well. Still. It doesn’t mean you have to or -“

“I know.” Tendo looks up again. “I want to, though.”

“You do?”

“For all the reasons you said, and more. Because you created it for me, and it would honestly be an honour to wear your design on my skin. So book me an appointment before I lose my nerve.”

Newt immediately pulls out his phone and does just that. 

***

They go together. Hermann elects not to join them, so it’s just him and Newt, just like last time. Only this time it’s Tendo under the needle and Newt sitting with him - and only this time it’s definitely about comfort, because Tendo got both of his other tattoos drunk and even then they’d hurt like hell. So he wants a hand to hold, and Newt offers it easily.

Tendo completely forgets about the scar until he rolls up his sleeve and places his arm on the table. Then he stops, and has to force himself not to retract it, to snatch his arm away and hide it. Nobody apart from his partners (and the doctors) has ever seen Tendo’s scars, and if he’s not careful he’s about three seconds away from an immediate panic attack. 

Newt rubs his thumb over the back of Tendo’s other hand soothingly, wordlessly reminding him to breathe, and looks up at his tattooist. “Two and a half years,” he says. “And it’s designed so there aren’t many strong lines that need to go over that area. It’s okay, right?”

She nods, carefully applying the template as Tendo calms himself back down - her absolute lack of reaction is definitely making him feel better. “I’ll keep checking in, but it looks like it’s going to hold up. I covered up yours fine, after all. How does that look?”

Tendo only gives it a cursory glance, distracted by what he’s just heard (and the template’s perfect, anyway, there’s no real worry about that). “That’s good,” he says, and turns to Newt, frowning. “Yours?”

“Yeah.” Newt lets go of his hand and rolls up his sleeve, then guides Tendo’s hand halfway up his forearm. “Broken arm when I was twelve,” he says as Tendo’s fingers find the scar. “Metal plate, pretty wicked looking scar for years until I got this baby to cover it up.”

“How’d you do it?” Tendo asks, trying to ignore the buzzing that’s just started up.

“Got pushed. Childhood wasn’t fun.” 

Tendo’s about to try and find something sympathetic to say, when the needle suddenly hits his skin and he flinches. “Shit, sorry,” he says, turning back to make sure he hasn’t fucked up the lines. “Wasn’t expecting it.”

“My fault,” Newt says, taking his hand again as the first line begins to emerge. “How is it?”

“Painful,” Tendo admits. 

“Do me a favour? List off the Kaiju in order of appearance.”

Tendo frowns. “Um, okay? Tresspasser, Hundun, Kaiceph, Scissure…”

It takes a few minutes to get through the list - of course he remembers all the attacks, violent and vivid, but until the Jaegers actually began working much of the first Kaiju invasion period has melded together in his mind, and the order is difficult. He finally finishes it off with Slattern, and Newt nods his approval. “Now, how’s the pain?”

Tendo blinks, looks down at his arm, then back up at Newt. “Oh, well played.”

Newt grins. “That’s why I’m here. But while we’re on the topic, you’d been naming the Kaiju since about Knifehead onwards, right? I don’t know how I’ve never asked you this, but what the hell is up with some of those names? I mean, Knifehead, Leatherback, even Mutavore, I get those. But where on earth did Scunner come from?”

“It’s Scottish. Means to trigger a strong level of disgust.”

“Oh. Pretty apt then. And Raiju?”

Tendo laughs. “Raiju’s a bad one. It’s from Japanese mythology, but it’s kind of more of a weasel associated with lightening.”

“Then how…?”

“You know how Stacker was determined that none of us ever use foul language, no matter how bad things got? Well I  _wanted_ to call that one something far worse, and Stacker wouldn’t let me, so I grabbed the first name I could find.”

“What did you actually want to call it?”

“Something I can’t repeat in the presence of a lady,” Tendo says, tilting his head towards their tattooist, who rolls her eyes without looking up from her work. “All three of those last ones were gonna be far worse than they really are - Slattern basically refers to a promiscuous woman so you can kinda imagine where I was headed with that.”

Newt laughs, then his eyes narrow. “Did you name Bonesquid?”

“Don’t you dare knock Bonesquid. I liked Bonesquid.”

“I won’t say a word then. But Spinejackal?”

Tendo sighs. “Okay, that was a bad day. They can’t  _all_ be awesome, Newt.”

They kill the first hour in that manner. Then Newt brings out his tablet and they spend the second and third watching  _Godzilla_  - an old favourite for both of them. They have to pause a couple of times for Tendo to take breaks, but it’s going pretty well. 

By the time it gets to the fourth hour, however, it’s really starting to hurt. Tendo grits his teeth and bears it, and Newt does his best to help, contrasting the sharp pain with gentle touch. Tendo rests his head on Newt’s shoulder after awhile and Newt plays with his hair and they both watch the progress. She’s up to the final little details now, and the last half hour is spent in relative silence, just watching the Jaeger take full form. 

Finally, it’s done. The buzzing stops, the sharp pain is replaced by a dull throb, and Tendo can move his arm again. He stands up, letting his arm hang loosely at his side, then turns to the mirror and takes it in. 

“I love you, Newt,” he says after a few moments. “One hell of a lot.”

***

Hermann’s waiting when they get home, and Tendo quickly ducks through to the bathroom to unwrap it and wash the blood off. When he returns he holds his arm out for examination, and Hermann gently takes Tendo’s hand in both of his as he looks it over. “What do you think?” he asks.

“I think it’s a damn sight nicer than what was there,” Tendo says honestly. “And I love it. It’s come out perfectly.”

“I agree. You can’t see the scar.”

Tendo nods. “Which is awesome, because you can just focus on how amazing the tattoo is.” 

He reaches his other arm out without looking, and Newt’s there a moment later, curling his arm around Tendo’s waist in return. “Do you like it?” Hermann asks Newt. “As the artist?”

“As an artist I can see at least five things I’d do differently next time,” Newt admits. “But looking at it as a piece of art, on Tendo’s skin, it’s perfect.”

“So, down to the anti-tattoo one. Hermann?”

Hermann smiles. “I will never understand the  _desire_ to get these things put on your skin, but the execution of any tattoo designed by Newton is always flawless. As for all of the meaning behind this, it certainly contains the beauty needed to express that.”

Tendo looks at Newt. “That’s as close as he’s gonna get to admitting he likes it, yeah?”

“Yeah. I’m happy with that.”

“Me too. And I love it, so that’s kind of what matters, right?”

“That’s pretty crucial,” Newt agrees, but it’s obvious that his mind is elsewhere. “Sorry, I’ve just had a thought. Need to sketch it out.”

Newt disappears, and Tendo looks at Hermann who raises an eyebrow. “We’ll see in due time,” he says. “Come and sit down with me.”

They move over to the couch, Tendo sitting so his right side is free. He rests his arm across his legs so it’s straight, and just looks down at it for a bit. “I mean, he couldn’t have done it better,” he says after a moment. “I’ve seen a couple of people with Jaeger tattoos and they’re just not right.”

“It’s like the Kaiju,” Newt says, returning with sketchpad and pencils and curling up in the chair. “You’ve gotta be close enough to them that you understand them before you can begin trying to put them on paper. People are trying to draw the Jaegers from the old propaganda posters - it’s never gonna work. I saw _Crimson Typhoon_ up close, spent a lot of time on the factory floor when Herms was giving me a headache with his chalkboard, so I know that thing well enough to draw it.”

“You miss my chalkboard.”

Newt grins. “Yeah, okay,” he admits. “Now, excuse me for awhile, I’m gonna be antisocial and get this sketch done.”

“What’s it of?” Tendo has to ask.

“Dream on.”

Tendo chuckles. “Okay, fair enough. Herms, can you grab your laptop? I want to show you that documentary I was talking about last week.”

So Hermann does, and for the next couple of hours they’re pretty well distracted by that while Newt sketches away in the corner. But once that’s over and Tendo’s attention returns to his arm, it’s starting to throb a bit again and he flexes his fingers with a small grimace. “Sore?” Hermann asks.

“Little bit. Suppose that’s the burden to bear.”

“Worth it, though,” Newt says.

“I sure hope so.” And then Tendo remembers something rather vital, and grins. “So, Newt,” he teases, “do I get Hermann now?”

Newt frowns, glancing up. “You have Hermann.”

Hermann’s smiling though. Clearly he remembers. “You told Tendo you’d loan me to him for aftercare if he got the tattoo. Before the three of us became three.”

“Oh, right, yeah. Well he is pretty damn good at it.”

Tendo turns pleading eyes on Hermann, whose smile softens. “Of course,” he says, standing and going into the bathroom to get the cream. “At least now it’s a possibility, not just a dream,” he says as he returns.

“I knew you caught me out,” Tendo says, knowing he’s blushing a bit. “That was horrible.”

Hermann sits back down, smiling fondly. “Never imagined it would come true, did you?”

“God no.”

Newt’s watching them, frowning. “What are you two on about now?”

Hermann just tilts his head, indicating Tendo should talk, and Tendo sighs. “When you said you’d lend me Hermann… it wasn’t exactly the worst suggestion.”

Newt slowly begins to smile. “Oh my god, did you have a crush on Herms? How long was this before you told us?”

“I had a crush on both of you,” Tendo corrects quickly. “And I do recall it was you two who told  _me_ … but it would have been about two months?”

“That long? Wait, hang on,” Newt adds, turning to stare at Hermann. “You knew?” 

Hermann nods. “I suspected. What I saw that night confirmed it.”

"And you didn’t tell me?"

"No. It wasn’t my place, and you weren’t there yet on your side. If I had told and you hadn’t been ready for it, I imagine it would have scared Tendo away completely. We had to be the ones to come to him with the offer. And I might just add that I had no qualms with being offered to Tendo either - with your consent, of course. I never would have cheated.”

“I never would’ve let him,” Tendo adds. “Just to make it clear.”

Newt keeps staring. “You know,” he says after a minute, “I’ve never asked. When  _did_ you start falling for Tendo, Hermann?”

Hermann smiles as he uncaps the tube. “Oh, about two months prior.”

That’s news to Tendo too. “Really?” he asks.

“Well, after seeing that look, I realised it wasn’t unwelcome. Which I then naturally had to think about quite a lot, and came to the obvious conclusion that while my love for Newton hadn’t lessened at all, there was certainly something beginning for you.”

“So wait, you two had crushes on each other before I -“

That’s as far as Hermann lets him get. “Newton, you were the  _first_ one to develop any sort of attraction, believe me. You just took the longest to listen to yourself.”

Newt smiles, a little sheepish. “Yeah, okay, that’s probably accurate.”

Tendo laughs, but it quickly dies as Hermann begins to dab the cream into his skin. “Does it hurt?” Hermann asks.

“Little bit. Mostly feels good though. You really do know what you’re doing.”

“I have to,” Hermann says, long fingers gently working around the tender lines. “Because that one over there is needy and makes my life miserable if I don’t look after his pain, and I imagine it’s not going to be long before you have another one of these for me to tend to, either.”

Tendo frowns, but when he sees Newt look up sharply, he connects the dots. “Is that what you’re doing?” he asks. 

“Maybe?” Tendo stares him down, and Newt sighs. “Tendo, you can actually look at your arm without feeling sad. Do you know how amazing that is? So you certainly don’t have to get the other one done, but I want the option to be there if you do. Because I like making you happy.”

“You are the  _sweetest_ thing,” Tendo says, and watches with delight as Newt blushes. “Is it another Jaeger?”

Newt shakes his head. “And that’s all I’m telling you,” he says quickly. “You can wait and see.”

“I’m looking forward to it, beautiful.”

Hermann’s finished with his arm, and Tendo looks over to thank him, only to find Hermann watching him closely. “He’s right,” he says. “You are much happier with this, aren’t you?”

Tendo looks down at the tattoo. “It’s taken something that I’ve always associated with weakness, and replaced it with strength,” he explains. “So, yes. Definitely.”

Hermann puts his arm around him. “You’ve always been strong, sweetheart. But if it helps you to wear it on your arms, then I certainly can’t be anything but happy for you.”

“And you do like it, deep down.”

“ _Very_ deep down.”

Tendo smiles. “Good enough for me.”

**Author's Note:**

> As one of my lovely Tumblr reviewers put it best: tattoos are such a lovely way to reclaim your own body. I've done this with scars of my own. 
> 
> Title from "Cover Up".


End file.
